A blog post, dedicated to my dear old Boy who's now running free and happy at the rainbow bridge.
To my beloved Boy.
I missed you, miss you and am
still missing you. I can’t really remember the day you came to our family. But I
will never forget your sad story.
You were tied outside a police
post at Beach Road for almost the entire day. It rained and you were drenched.
How dramatic is that? It was like a beautiful ending for the day when you met
your two Samaritans; Denise, your godma and Zhen.
I still recalled how frantic and
helpless your godma was trying to find you a new home after bringing you to the
vet. She was doing all that she could,
giving you a good shave, having your health status checked as you had a stench
then. She posted in adoption threads, sms-ed to all friends but it was all in
vain. She found you a fosterer but couldn’t leave you there for long as the
daily fees weren’t exactly cheap and it wasn’t helping that she was still
halfway through her university days. She wasn’t feeling good to let anyone
adopt you as you weren’t that young then. You were estimated to be between 8 to
10. Almost a senior and diagnosed with heart mur mur although it wasn’t
clinical yet. You were also sadly, left with 4 tooth; which didn’t do you any
favour when it comes to charming people with your handsome looks. I may sound
crude here but dear Boy, you should know it better.
It took me some courage and
consideration after a few days or was it a week? I finally told your Godma that
she can put you with me, at no cost, until she manages to get you a good home.
Otherwise, I’ll just keep you. I had many reservations then. I had Fluffy. Yes,
your dearest Fluffy. I was in a bad state and condition due to personal issues.
My fear for your health deterioration was also another concern as we all know,
vet fees here are nothing but costly. Also, I always have reservations towards
males. Not that I’m lesbian or what but I dislike the markings and spraying of
urines on walls and legs of furniture. That being said, you were on diaper,
which also means, additional cost for maintenance. Lastly, I’m sorry, I had to
admit, I wasn’t charmed by you at all. I took the plunge and there, the rest is
history. You came to my house and subsequently, became a family member.
I felt sorry towards Fluffy many
times initially as she was terrorized and traumatized by you badly. She was too
used to living in her own world and when you came over, she hated your presence
like no tomorrow. But it is also because of you, our little timid Fluffy had
turn slightly more vocal and braver. You were her shield, her protection, her
leader, her companion, and her partner which I eventually pro-claimed you two
to be husband and wife.
But before becoming husband and
wife, it was for quite a period of time with torture for you and me before we
could finally live together in peace. I can never forget how short-tempered you
were. You were constantly growling at me many times and yes, you bit me. I
still have photo evidence alright! Those blue-blacks you gave me made me felt
idiotic. Yes. Why so? Didn’t you know that it’s not right for a dog to bite the
hands that feeds you? But then again, after our fights and quarrels, I
constantly remind myself of your sad story. I believed that you had a tough
time before me. That was probably the reason for your foul temper and not
forgetting you were abandoned. I too had to blame for being stubborn enough to
fight with you. I’m sorry for that Boy. Thinking back, it was ridiculous with
me shouting and yelling my lungs out at you and having you growling and barking
at me back. I’m also sorry for laying my hands on you. You were so stubborn,
just like me. That is probably why we end up hurting each other. But never
once, you had marks left on you while unfairly, I had so many blue-blacks.
Many times, I will smirk at your
4 tooth, calling you “Bo-Gay” harbouring suspicion that you were probably too
hard to handle that your tooth got smacked off. Well, that’s animal abuse I
know. But hey, there were cases of mad people who killed canines at HDB void
deck remember?
There was this particular
incident which I could never forget. Remember that morning while I was
preparing for work and you stole a piece of the ‘Huat Kuey’ from the altar? I’m
sorry for making you lose another tooth. But I really can’t let you go with
that. That was for praying and by stealing it, it’s wrong. End up, after an
episode of umbrella, dog under the bed, refusing to let go of the ‘huat kuey’,
you lose a tooth. I was often amazed by how you did not even cry or whine in
pain. You were only filled with anger then. Barking and growling non-stop. It
was only when I saw the bloody tooth then we stopped the tussle. You didn’t get
the ‘Kuey’ in the end. See? You should have just let go.
There was also a period of time
that I had to put you up at Zhen’s place as I was thinking too highly of myself
– pet sitting a Jack Russell when I can’t even handle you, not forgetting
Fluffy. It was chaotic at home and so I had to send you off to a staycation or
perhaps a getaway for you. I heard you were treated very well. You were also
well groomed. Boy, I’m not happy here. When I tried to groom you, why do you
always attempt to bite me? While over there, you didn’t snap? Not fair Boy.
It’s not fair. But it’s okay. I still love you alright. It was just a few days
stay; you came back looking happy and good. I can’t help but always wonder why
Zhen didn’t take you in. Even now, I still do wonder. I was looking at your
staycation pictures last night. Boy, you really look happy and you were a lot
fatter too. It made me felt bad. I felt like I never did a good job.
I also can’t remember when, things
seems to take a turn. You started becoming less temperamental or was it that I
know how to manage it better? I remember those days when I come back home, you
would be either be asleep but facing the door or you would be standing in the
hall wagging your tail at me. I would run to the kitchen and you would chase
after me until one day, you failed to stop in time and went crashing onto the
cupboard. You wailed like a chicken waiting to get massacred. I was so worried
especially when you screamed after I touched you. You went limping for a good 5
to 10 minutes? I texted your Godma immediately as I was afraid you would break
a limp or something. Thank goodness, you regain your ability to walk on fours
shortly after. From then on, as much as I enjoyed being chased by you, I
refrained from running too near to the cupboards. I was glad nothing happened.
There was also an occasion which
I can’t forget. I was lying on my folks’ bed and you couldn’t see me. I heard
you panting and running up and down the house. From our bedroom; to the folks’
room; to the master bathroom. You couldn’t see me still and you kept running up
and down. I could feel your anxiety. You were worried that you were left alone
again Boy? It’s your home. Silly Boy you. You finally panted a sigh of relief
when I called out to you. It was all these little ‘cute’ gestures of yours that
gave me a different light of you. You are a sweet old Boy who is also a scaredy
cat.
Why scaredy cat? You would bark
not at thunders but at lightning flashes or camera flashes. When the thunder
gets too heavy, you bark at times too. Mom always tell me, you are the evil one
and yet afraid of death. That made me wants to laugh at you more but yet,
protect you at the same time. That’s probably how we bonded?
You would love to stick around me
always. Having your held rested on the computer chair’s rollers or your tail
just millimetres away from the wheel. Very sticky but sweet. You wouldn’t leave
me alone in the room for too long. Either you would end up scampering up and
down the house to look for me or you would just be less than 50 centimetres
away from me. You always had your eyes on me. Yes, that’s the right phrase.
The day came when we had to move
out of the big hall house to a way smaller flat. I’m sorry to have entertained
the thought of giving you up just because we are going to a smaller home. I’m
sorry to have left you home alone, in the master bathroom the entire day while
moving. I’m sorry that I had almost forgotten you. I’m sorry Boy. You must have
been really scared, all alone in darkness. You know, if you had not barked at
and followed the foreign workers around the house, I wouldn’t want to keep you
in the toilet either. I’m really sorry for the trauma you faced once more that
very day. Please forgive me alright?
Finally, we settled in the new
small cosy flat. A new territorial ground for you. We had our daily walks. And
once, I let loose of your leash and you just went off without me. I feel very
much loved when you turned back and realised I wasn’t behind you and you came
running back towards me. Thank you Boy. Thank you for coming back.
Not long after moving over, you
had a new co-owner. Yes, your ‘papa’. You feared him because he would hit you
so hard sometimes. Especially when you attempt to bite again. Perhaps being
somewhat of an alpha male, you tend to fear him more while you love coming to
me for affection.
I still remember there was once;
you were paranoid by a recycling bag. Maybe, you had not seen anything like that
before and hence you were so carefully taking small steps towards it, smelling
it. And me, coming from behind with no intention to scare you, scared you
instead and you came charging at me, and bit me again. That was also when I
felt love from your papa. A grown man tearing, just because I was bitten by my
dog, and he had failed to ‘protect’ me? I only suffered a bruise, silly papa of
yours. And you, silly Boy of ours.
I can’t recall anymore biting
incidents after that. Perhaps over time, you began love us more or were you to
feel weak and I had not notice it? You would occasionally growl at us when we
scold you or punish you. Your biting attempts ceased gradually and I would many
times felt that you had change for the better, giving us lots of unconditional
love. Like what Godma said, you had gradually stole a spot in my heart without
myself realising it and it was never by your looks.
We had outings, brought you for
your first swim. Voila! You are a better swimmer than Fluffy! Somehow, many
happy occasions seems to pass really fast. You became sticky to your ‘papa’
too. You would also portray cute actions which made my heart melt. Your
affection towards Fluffy grew and vice versa. There were occasions I caught you
too smelling each other and sticking near to each other.
Then in May last year, we brought
a monster back. Probably, to you, she’s an irritant but she’s a monster to
Fluffy. Yes, Boy, I’m talking about Gigi, the crazy girl. I’m sorry to have put
you through her terror. We had a picture of you looking happy but in fact, you
were probably screaming for help to save you from the terror. Sometimes she
would accidentally land on you while you were sleeping and you would chase her
till she lay ‘dead’. It was an amusing sight. There were also happy moments
where you mistook Gigi’s toys as food and chase after it. When you manage to
get the toy, you spit it out shortly. I love it when you play alongside. I love
watching you play Boy.
There were also many occasions
where you would just sit right in front of the television ‘watching’ it. I had
photo evidences too! You also amazed me
with your imaginative digging skills and your superb howling skills. Although
sometimes it freaks me out. Your ‘papa’ was sharing with me some incidents
which I had forgotten too. The once you attempted to bite him? I think he had
accidentally stepped on your feet or something? Where he crashed into the
wardrobe and now, yes till now, my wardrobe doors are not in good place? He
also said there was once you refused to let me dry you after bathing and you bit
him and not letting go? I don’t have recollections of such maybe because; these
are your memory with ‘papa’. ‘Papa’ loves you a lot too Boy.
Remember those days where you had
very bad ears? We were sorry to put you through the pain but it for your good.
I’m sorry that the daily walks ceased after Gigi came in. It was really
exhausting for us as she was really an energy drainer. I know you would not
bear grudges against us for not bringing you out. We hope the outings made up
for it? I’m sorry to have put you on
diaper throughout your years with me. I know your lil’ bro had suffered a fair
bit but I hope you like the Pooh Bear diapers which were way better than the
initial ones we used? We are also sorry to have cut your territory smaller and
you had to stay in the kitchen most of the time. We did that because Gigi was
so active and we had seen her tripping and pouncing on you, it worries us. You were so laid back; we didn’t want you to
be perpetually disturbed by her when we are not around.
Somehow, we didn’t realise since
sometime, you were starting to get weaker each day. We put you to sleep in the
kitchen as you were constantly getting up in the middle of the night wanting to
get out of the room. Otherwise, you would get up and start digging for what we
don’t know and never got to know. It was probably tough initially for you to
get used to sleeping alone in the kitchen separated from your darling but
nevertheless, you got used to it pretty fast.
There were days especially over
the weekends where I would sleep late and I would allow you to stay in the room
longer than usual. You would probably find comfort in having to sleep near me
and your darling Fluffy also will come and sleep next to you. There was also a
period of time where the both of you, would just stick to each other very much.
I had a few photos of you 2, husband and wife. Especially when it was
Valentine’s Day, how sweet, my dear Boy. Yes, that was 14 Feb 2012. About 9
months ago, you were still up and very well.
There was also a period of time
where we had to put you to boarding. You weren’t exactly a stranger to
boarding. You had done it before with these 2 brothers twice, once by Godma,
once by us. Then there was another boarding session you probably love, Aunty
Maureen’s place. Remember the good food she cooked for you and Gigi? The
biscuits she made for you all as well? Remember the day when you came back and
refuse to go up the stairs?
Things started going downhill for
you sometime later. We were slow in realising it. You started coughing badly
and start having ‘attacks’. We didn’t know what it was. We called it ‘Fainting’
accidents. Brought you to different vets, Dr Tong from AAVC suggested strokes
initially but later suspected fits but there was never a conclusion. He even
wanted a video of that. It was then; you started having to take medications.
And it was also till then; we got to know that you weren’t feeling exactly well
to begin with. Your heart was starting to give way. You started getting picky about your food. Was
that a tell-tale sign? Were you trying to tell us that you shouldn’t be eating
the normal dry feeds anymore? We didn’t know really how to handle it and Godma
had to come along to help ask more questions to understand your condition
better. Sorry, your ‘papa’ wasn’t good in English and I often was too
distracted to ask questions. Your vet bills were also starting to get hefty.
Something which I knew it would come, but seems a little too soon for us. It
didn’t come to us that you had to eat only those prescribed wet food as Dr Tong
also thought you were only being picky since you started to gobble the normal
feeds a few days later. Although he did mention that your heart condition
wasn’t really looking on the bright side, being 5 out of 6, 6 being a failed
heart.
No too soon later, you started
getting bloated. We realised you had difficulty walking and you had ‘water
sacs’ on your body. We brought you down only to know that you have to go
through the pain of needle pokes to remove excess water. You were scared we
knew it, but we can’t let you not remove the water. It pains us to see the
450ml of liquid removed from you. There was blood inside too. Dr Tong was kind
enough to allow your future ‘water draining’ sessions to be free of
consultation fees.
Less than a month later, you had
even bigger sacs. You felt heavier that you can’t really stand. We had to bring
you down to drain the fluids. But alas, we weren’t lucky enough. Dr Tong was
not around. The other female Doctor attended to you instead. You had more
fluids drained out this time. About 500ml or more I guessed. She was screaming
that you should not be taking normal feeds anymore. And had to up your
medications and added a new medication for you too. Yes Boy, that bottle which
you see me holding every Sunday; opening capsule by capsule, dividing into
half, pouring into the daily medication box. The $300.00 medication, probably
the most expensive medication I bought to date.
The female Doctor gave you liver
supplements too. But probably an oversight of us all, we did not bring you down
for review as we didn’t have faith in her. She went on to charge us for the
‘water draining’, and your bill that evening went was a beautiful $555.00.
Things seem to take a change for the better. We started cooking for you every
day. Porridge with carrots and chicken pieces. You seemed elated by this every
evening. You would happily prance at our foot when we serve you your dinner
with the medication. You would lick it all up, clean. You would start howling
after eating. Were you expressing your happiness? I hope you were. We took it
as that way too and we were happy to hear your howling and would compare who is
a better cook by your howls. You even started barking. Loud ones, just like the
past.
We continued to feed you
medications, not knowing that it is slowly affecting your kidney. I’m so sorry
dear Boy. Until a month plus or so, you started to get sick of the porridge? Or
was it also another sign that you aren’t feeling well? There was no more ‘water
sacs’, you were no longer heavy, no bloated feet too. Only obvious we saw was
as part of the symptoms of Congestive Heart Failure, you getting skinnier. The
bones were obvious. ‘Papa’ told me that each time he showers you, he could see
your bones. We tried other ingredients
to make you eat. You started to eat a lot lesser.
At times, we fed you normal
feeds, you would eat. All we could think of was, you were just being picky.
Sorry for not being sensitive enough to pick out those signs, my dear Boy. We
changed to macaroni bites with boiled chicken, you finished it entirely.
Perhaps it was due to the small portion and you had not really eaten the day
before. Subsequently, you started to not eat again. We were really confused.
Not too sure what to do. It was only over dinner; a friend reminded me that if
a dog doesn’t even want to eat meat, something is seriously wrong.
That was really an awakening call
to me. That night, I came home slightly
later than normal, cooked for you. Then I watch your response. I then noticed
that you weren’t exactly into the bowl. I pushed the bowl to you, since you
smelt it like you’re longing for it. But, you turned away. I took treats for
you, you turned away. I opened a new packet, thinking that you got bored of the
current one (stupid me right?), you showed no interest at all. That was then, I
really began to panic. I asked Aunty Maureen for recipes to try. She suggested
mutton. Guessed what, after hearing your symptoms, she rang the red alert. She
told me to be prepared for the worst. The last time I heard that was when you
were attended to by the female Doctor.
The following day, I decided to
get you a can of wet food. Your all time favourite. I went down to your
groomer, Uncle Eric’s shop. He too, after hearing your condition, told me to
prepare for the worse. Boy Boy, do you know I was really struggling to come to
terms with reality? Although I knew it was coming but a part of me wants it to
be later. Although I had many times wondered if you would make it to our new
home, I didn’t expect you not to make it through 2012. I probably expected you
to leave us slightly later.
I went home with the can of
recommended wet food. Opened it up and fed you by spoon. The minute you
responded to it, I was jumping with joy internally. I was elated. I quickly fed
you more. Subsequently added medication to it and you turned away. Thinking
that it could be the medication, I tried another bit. You ate a little, and
then you stopped. You started to turn away. I was disheartened. I tried again.
I even wanted to smack you. Sorry Boy, it was frustrations that came in. I
really wanted you to eat. Besides, you had been vomiting for quite a few times
already. I googled on your condition and wept when I realized that you were
going through the stages and you are reaching the final stage.
That night, you came into the
room and you threw up all that you had eaten. I knew this is not right anymore.
We decided to let you sleep with us that night. I don’t know if Fluffy was
trying to comfort you or she just wanted to sleep on another cushion. She
squeezed with you onto that cushion given to you. I also do not know if you
were being sweet to her or you were just feeling warm that you let her have the
cushion.
You vomited once in the middle of
the nigh and another time after ‘papa’ went to work. You also had stools which
were sticky and with some spots of blood, and vomited more. I cleaned up the
messed and I know you were feeling bad. You gave me that guilty look. Those
guilty eyes, which was what I used to see, whenever you pee around the house.
But rest assure Boy, I had never blamed you. I knew you weren’t feeling well.
You couldn’t control it.
That was 2 days before you left
us. I tried the wet food again that day. And you rejected it by all means. We
went down to Uncle Eric’s shop again as we were recommended with a supplement
tube, which we could apply onto your tongue. We waited for nearly 1.5 hours?
Uncle Eric was not in the shop. We left concluding that we had to quickly bring
you to the vet. By then your hind legs was already shaking very badly each time
you stand for long periods. With many thanks to your Godma, we manage to get a
slot for you with the well known Dr Ly. Remember him? Yes, the one who kept
calling you sweetie?
It was Monday; we rushed you down
to ARVC. It was drizzling. We waited for quite a while. Dr Ly saw you. He told
us, you had a couple of strokes before and your kidneys are failing. I couldn’t
quite believe it. He took a look at your medication and said that, probably,
you’ll be killed by your kidneys before your heart does. I was lost. I felt
like I had played a part in murdering you. But Dr Ly later said that, you need
those medication otherwise you would suffer from ascites given your heart
condition. Ascites, the condition where you had ‘water sacs’ at your abdomen
which made you heavy, causing you to have bloated feet. You can’t exactly go
without the medication but it kills your kidney. I’m sorry Boy. I felt horrible
then.
As Dr Ly examined you, you made
an effort using your head to push his hands not once but twice. I cannot forget
that scene. Dr Ly told us, you were telling him to save you. You were feeling
nausea as you had urine taste in your mouth. All in all, you were feeling
extremely sick. He immediately ordered for a blood test. We saw how badly you
shook. The day before you were still struggling to stand up and that night, you
hardly were able to. You were trembling in fear. While waiting for the results,
Dr Ly told us that you were telling him, you needed our permission. You are
dying. He repeated this 3 times. But you can’t bear to leave us yet because you
knew we loved you so much. That very moment, my heart literally sank.
I looked at you, I wanted to put
you to sleep but I don’t have the courage to say it. Coincidentally, Dr Ly told
us that ARVC doesn’t conduct that process. I heaved a sigh of relieve. But that
also means, you had to suffer a little more. I was arranged a communication
session for me to communicate with you. Dr Ly wanted me to start that very
night as you were really at the final stages. Many times I had to swallow
saliva really hard. If you know what I mean, that’s totally different from your
swallowing of saliva. For you, it means you want to eat whatever you are
looking at. Not for me. It was swallowing down the tears that somehow keep
creeping up.
You were given a couple of
injections and a doomper and then a drip. Dr Ly gave you a good pat before you
had your drip. Perhaps you were really telling him how much you loved us that
he didn’t even wanted to charge us consultation fees. He even told the staff to
ensure that no administration fees will be charge for the drips after that
night as you had to go down every day for half a packet of it and he called you
a sweet boy.
We took you home that night, with
a heavy heart. I put you on the cushion and you hardly moved. You were on fours
but somehow, perhaps it was too warmed, you struggled to be on the floor. That
night, ‘papa’ had to go work. I wrapped
you up in a towel and lay you on the cushion. You were trembling so badly it really
pains me to see you in this shape. I had a feeling that you probably won’t make
it past the night.
I sat by you and talked to you.
Trying very hard not to shed a tear in case you missed out what I was trying to
say. You heard me? I really meant those words. I also posted these messages on
facebook because I could express it better there. I gave you full permission to
go. Go, leave, run carefree at over at the rainbow bridge. Don’t worry about
us. We will never ever blame you for leaving us. I have you a kiss as I probably
cried myself to sleep later.
You whined in the middle of the
night. I jumped up and realised that you had poo-ed on the towel and
miraculously, you were struggling out of the towel to rest elsewhere. I
re-settled you down and went back to bed, hardly being able to fall asleep once
more. I could hear your nails ticking away against the cold hard floor because
you were trembling so badly. I woke up not long after as I had to go work.
I really could not bear to leave
you home alone as ‘papa’ was still at work and I had an event at work that day,
4 December 2012. I quickly tried my best to clean you up, fed you some water
using the syringe. As I looked at you drink, Boy, my heart sank deeper. I
lifted you up to lay on the other side as you had been lying on the same side
for too long. I hope I didn’t hurt you in the process. Just before I left for
work, I told you to wait for ‘papa’ to come home and told Fluffy to look after
you. She was probably scared stiff.
I don’t really know what happened
after that. ‘Papa’ called when he got home and told me you were still the same,
trembling badly. He went to bed after a tough night of work at about 9.40am,
after talking to you. He told me that he had asked you to go sleep. He even
asked Fluffy to come over to look at you. He said that you whine a little. Your
heartbeat was inconsistently fast. And that was all.
‘Papa’ abruptly woke up at about
11.35am and found you motionless. You stopped trembling. He reached to feel
you. Your heart stopped beating. He called me at 11.40am. I saw the phone rang.
I knew something was wrong. I was so afraid to pick up that call. Do you know,
just about 30 minutes odd or so before the call, you were suddenly running
around in my mind? I also had smell of you on my fingers. Did you visit me in
the meeting? I was stunned. I picked up the phone, and ‘papa’ broke the news
that you had left us. Strangely, I wasn’t really sad as I was kind of expecting
it. But, reality slowly sets in, I was lost once again. I didn’t know what to
do. What number to call? What to do next?
I called up ARVC to ask about the
appointment on the communication session and later inform them that they could
cancel it as you had just passed on. I asked them for contacts on what should I
do. I requested for the day off. Thankfully, my supervisor let me go instantly.
Tears were uncontrollable when I told her you had left. I text your Godma
immediately when I got into the car. The whole journey home, I just can’t
control the tears. Boy Boy, you really left? I remembered asking ‘papa’ a
couple of times if your heart really stopped beating.
When I got home, I went to see
you. You were indeed motionless and you were turning hard. Please remember
those words I told you. You had been a good boy. You had listened to us. We
gave you permission to go and you only had to wait for ‘papa’ to come home. You
gave us unconditional love. I kissed you one last time. Bid you goodbye on
behalf of Godma. I couldn’t help but kept touching you. I was confused by the
selection of cremation services too and I secretly didn’t want to let them
bring you away. But I know, it’s impossible.
Initially I wanted a common
cremation, thinking that you won’t be lonely. But Godma said it’s better for
individual cremation. Thank goodness for her, her willingness to play a part in
your life the one last time, we selected Tengoku. Also, we didn’t want to bring
back your ashes worrying that I may once more feel hurt each time I looked at
it. Godma was still thinking logically that she reminded us if we decided not
to want to keep later, we can always scatter them rather than now, and regret
later.
The Tengoku staff came back at
about near 2pm. We witness him taking you away in the little black box. I was
probably too dumbfounded. I signed the papers and let him did the necessary.
‘Papa’ very quickly cleared away the towel and cushion. Washed up your food
bowl and kept it. The drinking bowl had been passed to Gigi. I think he didn’t
want me to feel anymore sadder. Your cremation service has been scheduled to be
at 3.30pm.
We went over to see you for the
last time. After pushing you out from the cold room, I couldn’t bear to look at
you anymore. ‘Papa’ mentioned that your eyes had blood vessels. I noticed your
tooth had blood too. It was unsightly. Not to mention, you had poo-ed before
you left and we didn’t realised it at all. Sorry Boy Boy, we had failed to
clean you up once last time.
The Tengoku people were very nice
and patient. They told us to inform them when we are ready for the process. We
didn’t wait any further. Not because we don’t love you Boy. But we don’t want
that memory of you in that manner. The place you on the furnace area and gave
us a moment to look at you once more. Again, we didn’t really want to. I
guessed they were shocked by our fast response in giving the green light to go
ahead. Boy Boy, I know you wouldn’t mind that right? I had taken pictures of
you when I got home already. The guy quickly pushed you into the furnace and we
were brought to their small little office.
‘Papa’ and I discussed a little
and then I decided. I wanted to bring you home with us. I chose the white
little urn instead of the standard Chinese looking one despite the extra cost.
I wanted to give you a nice forever home. Besides, it’s just plain white in colour;
it would be easier for me to place you when our future home is ready. You are
coming with us to our new place 3 years later! Are you excited? I don’t care; I
am bringing you with me. At least, this is my decision for now. I don’t see any
reason why I should not.
We went down to ARVC while you
were being cremated. We waited for Dr Ly as the nurses told us that we could
bring down the medications and maybe they could be refunded since you didn’t
get to use. After a long wait, we finally met him. He had heard of your passing
and he asked if you had left peacefully. To me, you had. As you left without
any sound of pain. Dr Ly said it was good for you. You need not suffer anymore.
He asked if I had communicated with you. I told him I did. All he said was good.
I thank him sincerely on your behalf too. I think I said thank you more than
twice. If it wasn’t for him, we probably had to put you through longer
suffering.
I hope the session at ARVC wasn’t
too stressful for you Boy Boy. Dr Ly had mentioned that he will make you feel
better. I really hope you did. We went back to Tengoku to bring you home. And
now, you are home with us, high up on the shelf, with a picture of Mona Lisa by
your side. It was a long day. I believed you gave your blessings to ‘papa’ that
he managed to get a day’s off from work so that he could catch some sleep for
the night. He had been awake since you left and had only rested for 2 hours.
As I come to the end of this long
message for you, I hope you love your new forever home. Again, be free and run
at the rainbow bridge. Have fun and make lots of friends. Thank you Boy, thank
you for your unconditional love that you had given. Thank you for those happy
moments that we had shared. We truly love you and you will always have a spot
in our hearts.
It hurts me still as i read through the entire 'letter'. Occasionally, tears would well up...
Till we meet again my dear Old Boy.
